Reid kept his hands curled in front of him as though it would defend him from the person he was staring at, knowing better, but unable to keep the instinctive gesture from pulling his hands up and his fingers around. One hand massaging the back of the other through the cut-off gloves he wore. This was such a bad idea. Tyler was going to kick his ass.

At least there was some consolation in the fact that Chase looked like hammered shit. Maybe it was just Reid's imagination that he looked older, but he definitely looked tired. In bad shape. Nowhere near the badass he'd been when he'd first come to Spenser. It gave Reid the courage to still be standing there talking to him, for one thing. Instead of running for Tyler, or Pogue, or Caleb. Chase had been bad enough last time, and Reid still owed him for Pogue. And Caleb, whatever had happened there.

God, just the thought of it made his fingers clench again.

Chase had stopped talking a few minutes back. "What."

"Man, why are you even here? What do you want? Didn't you get enough out of us last time?"

Chase sneered. Reid was a lot less intimidated than he'd expected. "You haven't been listening, have you."

"I get kind of distracted thinking about what you did to my friends." It was a little reckless, and Reid's smile was manic. "Just spit it out and then get the hell out of here."

"I need," Chase's smile was just as manic, and looked as though he were about to jump down Reid's throat. "Your help."

"Yeah, you told me that when you showed up, but what do you need my help for?"

"Caleb won't listen to me..."

"Gee, I wonder why that is."

Chase balled up a fist and almost threw it at Reid, power flickering over his knuckles for a second before it faded and the fist landed on its own merits. Not even a strong fist. And he saw Chase flinch with the force of the impact. Probably it hurt him more than it'd hurt Reid. He'd gotten better punches off of Kira.

He rolled his head back to look at Chase and felt the grin slide away. "All right. Talk. Then leave."

Chase stared at him for a second, chest heaving. As though it has been an effort. He was even sweating, and that bothered Reid somehow even though he knew he shouldn't have been worrying about how Chase was. But it was nagging at him. At the back of his mind, thoughts pacing back and forth and going on about how crappy he looked. How tired. Drained.

"Fuck you," Chase sneered, turning away. "You're not gonna listen to me either."

Reid grabbed his shoulder, spun him around and squeezed. Both of their eyes were black now, Reid putting the squeeze on him and Chase resisting.

"Talk, Chase," he snarled. Wanted to add curses onto that but he couldn't think of any. Chase tried to squirm out of his grip and Reid closed his fingers around his arm, feeling bone under the flesh. Almost no muscle left.

"Fuck you," Chase repeated. Tried to push him away.

"Fuck you, too," Reid snapped. "You stupid asshead, what the fuck do you think you're doing, coming out here and asking for our help? Like we owe you something? Like you think we're going to help you? You tried to kill Kate. You tried to kill Pogue. You were going to kill Caleb, except he totally kicked your ass." Reid was shaking him by now. "He shoulda killed you."

"Damn right."

That stopped him. Made him let Chase go, almost push him away from him. That was Reid's first hint that something was very, deeply wrong with the other boy. He stared at him, wondering what the hell was going on.

"I need your help," he started, still with that ghastly smile. "But I'm starting to get the feeling that you don't want to help me."

Reid snorted, didn't say anything.

"You know what's happening to me. You grew up with this, you knew this was going to happen. And none of you did a damn thing. You did. Nothing."

And Chase hated them for that. Maybe they deserved it, too, except they probably would have tried to help him if he hadn't tried to kill them. His own damn fault. Reid refused to feel sorry for him.

But he was starting to get a little worried about what Chase wanted. All this talk. Had he talked this much when he was trying to kill Caleb? He wanted to call his friend and ask but didn't dare take his eyes off the other boy. His fingers did their little dance at the base of his throat. Chase was still talking.

"All of you, fuckers, you think you have it so good. You think it's hard, doing what you do, being good, being virtuous. Resisting. You knew what this was from the first moment you started using. You have no idea what it's like being able to do anything you want. For a few years. And then suddenly, you realize exactly what's going on. And it's all yanked away, like that."

Chase snapped his fingers and Reid jumped, hated himself for being startled. Stared at Chase, wondering when the punchline was going to happen. Getting the feeling that he should be running, running for home, running for the boys. He couldn't handle this much crazy alone. He'd been crazy himself to think he could. And Chase wouldn't stop smiling. That bothered Reid more than he wanted to say.

"If you don't spit it out in the next two minutes, I'm outta here." It was supposed to be a threat. It wound up sounding at least a little scared, at least to him, and he totally didn't care.

Chase laughed. "You're not going to help me. You can't help me." And then, hands going in his pockets and looking down at the ground as though he was finally accepting it. "Caleb can't help me."

"Man, what the hell is with you and..."

He took another step back when Chase looked up at him and moved forward. His eyes were burning, a corona that kept reaching for blackness and wasn't making it. He didn't have the strength left. Or maybe his body was just resisting more of what was dooming it to a too-fast death. Lines around his face. Stiffness in his hands. It was all over him now that Reid was looking, and he backpedaled some more.

"I can stop it..." Chase whispered. "I can make it all go away. And the best part is..."

Reid stared. Chase giggled.

"You can't do a damn thing to stop me."

Oh. Shit.

"I."

Reid's lips moved with Chase's, although part of him still couldn't believe he was going to do it. Wouldn't believe it. This wasn't happening.

"Will."

Wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Reid turned and ran, trying to outpace him. Trying to outpace his words, knowing it wouldn't matter.

"You."

Please, no, please not me, please don't do this.

"My."

No. Please, god, no.

"Power."

Reid woke up with his head against the tree and a mouth full of dirt, and his body felt as though it was literally vibrating with power. Chase's. His father's. His own. He wanted to do something, anything, get it out of him except that using it wasn't the escape he wanted it to be, he knew what using would do to him and he still wanted to do it, god, he wanted it so much. It was like sex, that moment before climax when all you wanted to do was push it out. It was like drowning, all that clawing to reach the surface, get a good lungful of air. It was like nothing Caleb had ever told him about and for a second he wanted to throttle his friend for not warning him about this.

There was no warning him about this. No one had ever thought Chase would do something like this. Hell, they'd all thought Chase was going to try and kill them, one by one. Killing himself...

Reid pulled himself to his feet and staggered over to where he thought Chase was. It wasn't as far as he thought and it felt like the rest of his life. He hadn't gotten that far before it had hit. Chase was face-down with his face in the mud. Reid touched the back of his neck, curled his fingers over it. Cold. Ice cold.

He sat down heavily in the leaves and started to cry. Bawling like a baby. He was scared, and he was tingling, and he was sick with power. It felt so alien inside of him. Like having an alien inside of him. He pulled out his phone and thank god they were on speed dial because he couldn't see the phone right now.

"Hey." Familiar voice. Thank god, there was a familiar voice.

"Hey." Reid swallowed. "Um..."

"... you okay, man? You sound like ..." Tyler didn't say it out loud, of course, he wouldn't. But Reid knew he was wondering.

"I think I'm in trouble." He sniffled. Swallowed. "Can you come get me?"

"Sure, I'll..."

"Alloyou."

"We'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Sooner..." he whispered before he hung up. His fingers tried to fumble the phone back into his jacket pocket but it didn't work, disappearing into the leaves next to him. Shaking, he curled over and buried his face into Chase's jacket, sobbing even more. "You bastard. You fucking bastard."

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