They were sitting on the porch when Reid started, opposite chairs. Caleb had one leg drawn up and his hands wrapped around his knee. Reid was just watching him, watching the sun move slowly across the sky.

The other two had gone into town for snacks, after a marathon session of video games had left them all out of food they knew how to prepare, or were willing to. It left Caleb and Reid on their own, a situation that hadn't happened often since they'd grown up and discovered girls. Or boys.

It wasn't that it was uncomfortable. Just that it wasn't easy to be, right now.

So are you and..." Reid asked. They'd been trying to make stilted conversation all morning.

Caleb shrugged a little, wondering how long Reid had wanted to ask that particular question. "I don't know? I guess. We're kind of... figuring things out." Although what they'd been doing, how they'd been figuring things out, might well make them a together. He wasn't sure, though. Pogue had been so patient and not brought up a lot of things that they probably should have talked about.

He guessed it didn't matter, considering Caleb wasn't with anyone, really, and Pogue was just taking care of him for now. Then he heard it in Chase's voice, taking care of you, and vulgarities were what sprang to mind second. His face flushed, fists clenched. He tried not to react.

"Caleb?" Reid saw it anyway. He was more in tune with the group than maybe Caleb gave him credit for, though the older boy was just now learning that. Listening to Pogue when he talked about all the things Reid did or said that Caleb missed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." It came out sounding very much like a something, all hoarse and choked. He cleared his throat and made himself not cry out of frustration or anger. Had to calm down. Had to breathe. Colored and striped balls settling to green felt. "Nothing, it's nothing. Just." He shrugged a little.

Reid got out of his chair and stood over Caleb, watching the older boy look up at him with widened, slightly alarmed eyes. "You sure?"

"Yeah..." And it was on the tip of his tongue to ask him to stop looming, even though Reid didn't have good enough posture to really loom. But Reid was already crouching down next to him, as though sensing his friend's discomfort. It made Caleb relax, even almost smile a little.

"Been worried about you," he said, and it sounded as though he had to force the words out, one hand curling a little until Caleb stopped him and pressed his wrist to the seat of the chair to keep him from pulling in on himself. Reid always did that. He didn't know why.

"I know." Caleb forced a smile, and knew it looked forced. "Been kind of worried about myself. But things are getting better, really. I promise."

Reid nodded a little, eyes sliding down. "We should have seen him coming," he said, shaking his head. "He just grabbed Sarah right out of..."

Caleb didn't want to talk about Chase. At all, ever again, even though he knew he would probably have to. But more, he didn't want to hear those words from Reid's lips. "It wasn't your fault," he told him. "None of us, not then, we didn't stand a chance against him. And if he comes b-back..."

Stuttering. He was stuttering. The sound of it disgusted him.

"I don't want you going near him alone. Any of you."

Reid snorted. "Bet Pogue likes that idea."

"Yeah, well, Pogue knows I'll kick his ass if he tries."

It did get a smile from him at least, which made Caleb smile back. There was still something about Reid's expression that worried him, and he leaned forward, a little closer to the other boy.

"It's gonna be okay."

Even if he didn't know it was going to be okay. Even if the days when he thought everything was falling apart or sliding away still outnumbered the days when things were fine. It was getting better, slowly. It was also easier to think like that when he had to be strong for someone else.

Reid nodded, but he wasn't looking at him anymore, and Caleb found himself reaching for him in a way that he wouldn't have a few weeks ago, a couple of months ago. Physical contact never having been a problem between the four boys who always knew where they stood with each other, and the source of endless rumors about the four of them, it wasn't a worry now. Not a worry so much as a faint niggling that this wasn't how things usually were. Reid didn't curl up on his lap like a child.

But he was doing so now. Arms wrapping tight around Caleb and tucking his head to his shoulder and refusing to cry, Caleb knew that sound from the comfort of his own covers. Or Pogue's, when the other boy was too deeply asleep to hear.

Reid clung to him, curled into him, upset about something Caleb didn't dare ask about and couldn't understand, not with this little information. They'd been talking about Chase one moment, him and Pogue before that, and school before that. Things that they'd talked about often, these days. Nothing that had gotten this kind of a reaction unless it was something to do with the fact that Pogue and Tyler were out of the house. Maybe. Pogue had hardly left Caleb's side for a while. And now Reid was clinging to Caleb and to control, and he didn't know why.

He didn't know why he was here. How they had gotten to this place. Reid's fingers were clenched tight in the shoulders of his jacket, desperate, and he thought the younger boy might cry if he stopped holding him. One hand slid up and into his hair, long and slow strokes. Down to press his palm to his cheek, cupping his face in his hand the way he remembered feeling Pogue touch him. Remembering how, with the other boy's assurance, it had felt as though everything was going to be all right.

He didn't know what was bothering Reid, either, and that seemed like the more important thing to get done. Figure that out and fix it.

Reid's breath was hot and soft and wet against his neck. He felt hyper-aware, could feel every strand of hair that tickled his cheek or slid over his fingers. More than that, he could feel the trembling in Reid's body that wasn't shivering or shaking at all but holding himself back from something he wanted too much. From something he was scared to take. Caleb knew that one from deep experience.

And it was a new idea, that Reid might want him. After what he'd learned about Pogue there were new observations, the way Reid looked at him. Like he was jealous, and like he missed Pogue achingly but they were both still right there. Caleb wondered who Reid was more jealous of.

And his heartbeat slowed as he calmed without realizing it, smiling a little. The idea that Reid would be jealous over them, it was a painful idea, worrying, but at the same time part of it seemed so ridiculous when it was just the four of them out at the cabin and, really. He might as well be jealous of Tyler getting to ride out with Pogue, who knew what they'd get up to? Not that he thought Tyler went that way. He thought. He didn't know about that anymore.

But it still seemed ... something. Silly, almost. He leaned back to tell Reid so, that no one was going anywhere, that whatever was going on didn't mean they were going to leave him behind. His hand came down from Reid's cheek to his neck, and that was when Reid sat up a little but only to turn his head and kiss him.

It was soft. As much as Reid had been shaking and holding it all in and heated with the effort of doing so, almost hysterical, it had seemed like, the kiss was soft. His lips were soft over Caleb's, so very soft, where Pogue's were even slightly chapped Reid's mouth felt almost liquid and gentle. Like kissing a cloud, if clouds were made of flame. Because there was heat there as well, and power, and energy vibrating just under the surface.

All kinds of understanding came to him as he kissed him back, as much to keep Reid there and reassured as because the kiss was that kind of stimulating. Not the chaotic jumble of feelings that kissing Pogue was but a simplistic purity, a light that burned deep inside that would always be there. Not the kind of connection that Reid might have wanted. Did he want that? He opened his eyes a little, wondering suddenly if this was a bad idea. Reid's eyes were closed, out of focus this close, but he could still see the glitter on his cheeks that confirmed itself with the taste of salt on his mouth.

It had certainly been an emotional few weeks.

None of them brought attention to their tears. Not ever, well, hardly ever. Caleb's fingertips brushed them away with a gesture that could equally have been a tender caress over his cheek, ignoring the taste of sobbing in his mouth. But in its own way it sealed the consequences of the kiss that seemed to be going on longer than he had expected. Deeper than he had expected. Pogue was one thing, Pogue he had known was in love with him, even if it was only a day or so before they kissed. Reid... he didn't know what Reid felt.

Scared, by the way he shivered. Scared and upset and Caleb finally broke the kiss first when he realized that this was just another way of clinging. Broke the kiss and gently pulled his head to his shoulder, holding him tightly. Reid wasn't crying anymore, just sighed, tired. He could empathize. He felt tired all of a sudden, too.

It really was like having a big overgrown child in his lap, in need of comfort, a kiss brushed over his forehead. He stroked his fingers through Reid's hair again, just holding him, maybe reminding him that no matter what happened between him and Pogue, it wasn't shutting him out. There was love for him too, there was a place at the table, all those things they had shared in the past not diminished by the chaos and changes of the present. They stayed still, and time did its interminable sliding and stretching until he couldn't have said how much later he heard gravel crunching in the driveway.

Reid sat up and scrubbed at his face, wriggling off of Caleb's lap and out of his arms to be standing next to him when Tyler and Pogue pounded up the steps. They were all familiar enough to know that something had happened, but Caleb shook his head slightly when Reid turned to ask without words what they saw. Once left, once right, and back to center.

"You look like shit," Tyler said, and Caleb had his mouth open to contradict or rebuke him when he continued. "You sure you're up to another round of SoCom? Sure you don't want to go lie down?" He grinned, reaching to put the back of his hand against Reid's forehead.

"Man, fuck off," Reid laughed, knocking his hand away. Tyler moved, laughing, too, but only enough to sling an arm around the other boy's shoulders and walk inside with him.

Pogue threw Caleb a rueful smile and started back down the steps. "Guess we get to bring in the groceries."

"Guess so."

"You wanna talk about what happened?"

Caleb leaned on the truck. "Maybe? I don't know yet. Soon, though. We should talk." It seemed like they all had a lot of things to talk about.

"'kay..." Pogue nodded, one hand coming up over his back, rubbing lightly over his shoulder. Caleb found himself leaning into him, into the arm that tightened around his shoulders, eyes closing against all his whirling thoughts. "Okay. Soon. We'll talk."

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